so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Houston, we have a squirter
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
