No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
