ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
