Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize