she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
