why didn't you poke me back
In America we eat man semen.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
