My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
