You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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