It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is wine microwaveable?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
