Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize