did you get engaged???
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
