the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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