508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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