in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
