i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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