Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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