so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
