I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
