i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize