i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
