and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
