So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
porn star boner night. come get it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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