physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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