I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
