he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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