quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
BRING THE BAGELS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
