My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My hand turned me down
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
