The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
