if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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