if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
