i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
soo... how was my night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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