Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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