Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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