i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
