After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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