Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
