we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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