It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
