If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
