woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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