walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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