I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
