I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
