This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
