I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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