I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
