so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
