it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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