Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
