Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
