it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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