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This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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