so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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