I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's like iHOP with fire
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
