Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
