nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
